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FidoNews · Vol 2, No 10 · 22 April 1985

        FIDONEWS     --           22 Apr 85  00:00:42           Page 1

        Volume 2, Number 10                            22 April 1985
        +----------------------------------------------------------+
        |                                             _            |
        |                                            /  \          |
        |    - FidoNews -                           /|oo \         |
        |                                          (_|  /_)        |
        |  Fido and FidoNet                         _`@/_ \    _   |
        |    Users  Group                          |     | \   \\  |
        |     Newsletter                           | (*) |  \   )) |
        |                             ______       |__U__| /  \//  |
        |                            / FIDO \       _//|| _\   /   |
        |                           (________)     (_/(_|(____/    |
        |                                                (jm)      |
        +----------------------------------------------------------+

        Publisher:              Fido #375
        Chief Procrastinator:   Thom Henderson

        Disclaimer or dont-blame-me:

        The contents of the articles contained here are not my 
        responsibility, nor do I necessarily agree with them; 
        everything here is subject to debate. I publish EVERYTHING 
        received.  

        You can take this to mean anything you want, but hopefully 
        as an invitation to comment, make suggestions, or write 
        articles of your own.  

                             ARTICLE SUBMISSION

        All articles you see in this issue are written by users and 
        sysops, and have one way or another managed to consume disk 
        space on Fido #375. In order to get rid of them, and free up 
        my precious disk space, I include them here, then quickly 
        delete them. Then they are YOUR problem.  

        EDITORIAL CONTENT:

        Totally up to you; I publish anything at all. Articles are 
        generally Fido or BBS related; this is by no means a 
        decision on my part, nor a requirement.  

        FOR SALE, WANTED, NOTICES:

        Pretty much self explanatory. Commercial ads are welcomed, 
        if of reasonable length.  

        SUBMITTING AN ARTICLE:

        Manage to get a copy of your article to Fido #375, 
        preferably by Fidonet mail, or by uploading.  The name of 
        the file you send MUST have one of the following extensions: 

            .ART      An article
            .SAL      A "For Sale" notice
            .WAN      A "Wanted" item
 
        FIDONEWS     --           22 Apr 85  00:00:44           Page 2


        ARTICLE FORMAT: VERY IMPORTANT! PLEASE READ!

        The requirements are a little tighter in this department, 
        due to purely practical constraints.  I cannot devote hours 
        to converting every text format in the world to the one I 
        use.  

        1.  NO LEFT MARGINS! Flush left please.  We will do the 
            indenting at our end, thank you.  

        2.  RIGHT MARGIN AT COLUMN 60 OR LESS! Less is OK, more is 
            definitely not. This includes fancy boxes, dotted lines, 
            etc.  

        3.  NO FUNNY CHARACTERS!  This includes formfeeds and other 
            oddities.  

        4.  NO GRAPHIC CHARACTERS! Believe it or not, not every one 
            in the world has an IBM PC. My computer understands 
            printable characters from 20 hex to 7e hex. (Space to 
            tilde) This is ASCII; "American Standard Code for 
            Information Interchange". We are "Interchanging 
            Information". Everything else is GARBAGE. ASCII is 
            universal; Graphics are not.  

        5.  TOTAL ARTICLE LENGTH: Up to you; note, however, that I 
            will probably avoid publishing dictionaries, bibles 
            translated into NAPLPS, and ASCII encoded LANDSAT 
            pictures of Russian wheat farms.  

        6.  WHERE ON EARTH IS THIS ARTICLE FROM? Well ... good 
            question! A good idea to identify yourself somewhere, 
            unless you wish to remain anonymous. Thats okay too, but 
            I may balk at publishing rude or otherwise racy 
            submissions.  

        7.  You don't need to put in separator lines at the top or 
            bottom.  They are added automatically when Fidonews is 
            assembled.  

        Any article that doesn't meet the above criteria will get 
        bounced, and will not be published until someone gets around 
        to fixing it.  I might go over it and fix it up in time for 
        the next issue, or I might ask you to try again, or I might 
        just forget about it.  In any event, you must meet these 
        standards if you expect your article to be published 
        promptly.  

        FIDONEWS     --           22 Apr 85  00:00:45           Page 3

                               Special Edition

        This is a special edition of Fidonews, published a week 
        ahead of time.  And for good reason, let me tell you.

        For any of you who haven't already heard it through the 
        grapevine, here's the scoop:  Several of the movers and 
        shakers behind Fidonet got together last weekend in St.  
        Louis.  (No, yours truly couldn't make it, about which I'm 
        quite irked.  Unfortunatly for me the meeting was held the 
        same weekend as the income tax filing deadline.)  Of course, 
        Fido and Fidonet were the hot topics of discussion.  As a 
        result of this, Fidonet is going to change tremendously.   

        The reason is simple.  Fidonet has just grown too big too 
        fast.  Something that started out as a way for a small 
        circle of friends to swap files back and forth has grown 
        into a nationwide (even worldwide) electronic mail network, 
        with hundreds of subscribers.  So, in keeping with the 
        nature of the Fido users' community, control of Fidonet is 
        being decentralized.  This should result in better system 
        performance for everybody; and at the very least it's like 
        chicken soup, it can't hurt.  

        But I'll let the architects of this grand new scheme of 
        things tell you the story in their own words.

        I must ask you a favor, though.  Please don't send mail to 
        node 1 or node 51 asking for details on the upgrade.  The 
        guys in St. Louis have their hands full converting to the 
        new system and testing out the new software.  Tom Jennings 
        is even busier trying to write and debug all the changes 
        required to make this work.  I'll do my best to keep on top 
        of this, and to get the people involved to write about it 
        when something happens, so you'll hear it through Fidonews 
        almost as soon as it happens.

        FIDONEWS     --           22 Apr 85  00:00:47           Page 4

        ============================================================
                                  NEWS
        ============================================================
        Tom Jennings
        Fido #1 in Net #...

                Unfortunately there isn't enough time to give you 
        complete details, as it is now Sunday, the deadline for the 
        newsletter, and I just got back from St. Louis this AM, but 
        I'll at least cover all the major points. A more detailed 
        summary will follow.  

                On Thurs. 11 Apr, Ezra Schapiro and I talked at the 
        McDonnell Douglas Recreational Computer Club (MDC/RCC) in 
        St. Louis. Since we were going to be in town, an informal 
        "FidoNet meeting" was arranged a few weeks ago. The meeting 
        consisted of the St. Louis sysops (Ken Kaplan, Ben Baker, 
        Tony Clark, Jon Wichman, Terry Mueller, Jack H.*), Ezra 
        Schapiro and myself, and was held in Ken K's living room. We 
        talked for 11 hours, and accomplished quite a bit. The 
        topic: what to do about running FidoNet.  

                I hope you have all read the file FIDOHIST.TXT, once 
        published in this newsletter, and available for download 
        from many Fidos. If not, shame on you, drop this and GO READ 
        IT FIRST!  

                An accurate node list is absolutely crucial to 
        FidoNet. Without it, FidoNet is useless. An inaccurate list 
        is worse than no list at all, and verifying all that good 
        stuff takes time. The current rate of growth of FidoNet is 
        about 12 - 15 nodes per week.  

                Please note that from here on, when I refer to 
        "running the net" or "managing the net" I really mean 
        creating, updating and verifying the node list and Fido 
        list, and helping new sysops get their systems up and 
        running, and the ten thousand other little tasks that 
        requires. As far as anything further goes, it's just 
        basically impossible, and completely undesireable.  

                To get right down to it: FidoNet is too large to be 
        managed from a central point; the world wide net is going to 
        be broken into a number of smaller nets.  

                Don't panic yet, it's not that horrible! As a matter 
        of fact, it will be easier and better for everyone, from the 
        big nets such as Southern California to the single systems 
        in out of the way places.  

                Right now, each node is identified with a Node 
        Number. Node numbers can be anything from 1 to 32767. Each 
        node has a unique number of course. In general, this works 
        fine, but it's really not practical for Ken Kaplan in St.  
        Louis to have to give node numbers to sysops in England, 
        Sweden and other far away places. And increasingly, within 
        the U.S.  

        FIDONEWS     --           22 Apr 85  00:00:49           Page 5


                The next version of Fido, 10H, will have a new thing 
        called the Net Number. Nets can be numbered from 1 to 32767, 
        and each net can have 32767 nodes. The idea is to be able to 
        let geographical regions assign their own node numbers, 
        without the horrible problem of duplicate node numbers.  

                The best comparison is the phone company. Instead of 
        trying to make each telephone in the US have a unique 
        number, the country is grouped into area codes; local 
        operating companies can assign individual numbers as they 
        see fit, without worry of having a duplicate in some other 
        part of the country.  

                FidoNet Net Numbers work the same way; to send a 
        message to a node in your own net, all you do is enter its 
        number; to send to another node in another net, you must 
        specify its net AND node number.  

                To do all this, North America is divided into 
        "regions", each with an "administrator" (admin for short).  
        Each region has a unique net number. The admin for that area 
        will pass out node numbers and keep a node list, just like 
        Fido 51 does now.  

                Instead of passing out node numbers, Fido 51 will 
        pass out Net Numbers. There won't be as many nets as their 
        are nodes. They will also take the node lists from each 
        region and compile it into one large consolidated nodelist, 
        and pass that back to each admin for distribution.  

                In some areas there are "local nets", such as 
        Boston, Southern California (SoCal), etc, that are more or 
        less totally self contained nets; these kind of areas will 
        be assigned seperate net numbers, and will generate their 
        own node lists. The admin for, say, California will not be 
        responsible for the SoCal net; the sysops down there will 
        be.  

                This arrangement has all sorts of nice side effects.  
        I'll give examples of some of them here.  

                Regions are such that there aren't more than 15 or 
        so independent nodes (indies, yet another new word) to keep 
        track of; a 15 node node list is pretty easy.  

                One region includes Northern California and Nevada.  
        While it sounds like a big area with a lot of work, it 
        isn't.  All the admin for that area has to do is maintain 
        the node list for a fairly small number of nodes. If a local 
        net starts to form, say in San Francisco, they get a Net 
        Number from Fido 51, and they become a seperate Net, totally 
        self contained. The admin no longer need worry about them.  

                Since nodes tend to pop up in metropolitan areas, 
        therefore in clusters, the admins work increases with each 
        node; at some point a net forms, and much of it goes away.  

        FIDONEWS     --           22 Apr 85  00:00:53           Page 6


                The complete node list and other files will be kept 
        at the admin's node; for many systems this will be a local 
        call instead of to St. Louis.  

                One major and wonderful change is what happens when 
        you go to enter a message. Instead of being confronted with 
        a huge, meaningless list of 250+ nodes, Fido lets you list 
        either the Regions or the nodes within a region. For 
        example, to send a message to a node in SoCal, instead of 
        having to list the whole node list, you list the regions 
        first. There will be about 30 regions. When you see 
        "Southern California", you pick it. Now you list the nodes; 
        you get only the nodes in SoCal. There is also a "shorthand" 
        for when you know the exact net/node you want to send to.  
        It's easier to use than describe.  

                National routing as we know it is no longer needed; 
        Fido will automatically route mail to the host of a net.  
        (Routing is still needed inside the net.) By definition, the 
        admin will not need to ever keep any routing information; as 
        soon as one node acts as host for another, they become a 
        seperate net.  

        IN CLOSING ...  

                You are getting this as things are being detailed, 
        and hard data will be passed around as soon as it's 
        complete.  

                We need some volunteers for admins in some areas, 
        and very soon, before this goes into effect. Sorry, but I 
        can't give you the list of regions, I don't have it yet, but 
        somehow it will get out, maybe by mass mailing. I realize 
        this probably opens more questions than it answers, but we 
        need the admins to be able to pass out the information!  

                Some funny coincidences: Fido 10G has a limit of 250 
        nodes maximum ... so does NODELIST.EXE. Don't worry, it's 
        not fatal, it will just ignore the 251st and higher nodes.  
        (Sorry, new sysops ...) 10H will have a limit of 1000, and 
        something for beyond that as well.  

                There will be new NODELIST.EXE and ROUTEGEN.EXE 
        programs. They will be required.  

                Fido 10H has many improvements. the bugs are fixed, 
        or at least, the obvious ones. Reading FidoNet messages is 
        FASTER.  


        ------------------------------------------------------------

        FIDONEWS     --           22 Apr 85  00:00:54           Page 7

                            New Look for FidoNet
                                by Ben Baker
                               Fidos  10 & 76

             There  are  changes afoot for FidoNet.  This article is
        intended to explain  the  scope  of,  and  reasons  for  the
        changes.

             First, the sermon.   FidoNet  is  an  amateur  communi-
        cations  network.   The  word  "amateur" is derived from the
        latin verb amo --  to  love.   An  amateur  is  someone  who
        participates  in  something  for the love of it, rather than
        for pay.  His gain is one of self satisfaction.   He  enjoys
        what  he  does, and has fun doing it.  Most of you know that
        Ken Kaplan, Fidos 22 and 51, administers the network  almost
        single-handedly.   For  him,  FidoNet  is  rapidly becomming
        work, not fun.  The size and rate of growth of  the  network
        have turned that task into a real headache!

             We  learned  early  in this venture that you can't just
        stick a new node in the node list and forget about it.   All
        too  many voice numbers, and worse, just plain wrong numbers
        found  their  way  into  the  early  node  lists.   We  also
        discovered  quite  early  that  because  of the coordination
        required, it was not easy to distribute the workload of node
        list maintenance.

             Last  September,  Ken  accepted  the responsibility for
        administration of the net.   With  the  help  of  other  St.
        Louis  based  sysops,  he  verified  the  entire  node list,
        correcting bad numbers and expunging those that couldn't  be
        tracked  down, until we had a node list with a high level of
        integrity.  Procedures were established to help  insure  and
        maintain that integrity, and you can be reasonably sure when
        you use a node list that you're not  waking  some  poor  old
        lady  in  Podunk,  Idaho from a sound sleep twenty or thirty
        times each morning between 2 and 3 o'clock (and  running  up
        your phone bill in the bargain)!

             We  now have about 250 nodes, the maximum that V10g can
        handle, and the network growth seems to be  proportional  to
        its  size.   It's too much for one person.  Something had to
        be done to facilitate the distribution of work load.

             There are twenty-some Fidos acting as  "inbound  hosts"
        for  their  respective local areas.  Why not let them assume
        the responsibility for their own  local  "networks?"  Sounds
        good  in  principle,  but  if  three  people  assigning node
        numbers is chaotic, what happens with more than  twenty  are
        doing it?  We had to find a way to uncouple these "networks"
        and reduce the need for coordination.

             Enter the network concept.  The next  version  of  Fido
        (now   necessary   because   of  the  250-node  limit)  will
        understand networks and nodes which are members of networks.
        We  will  formalize  the  informal  "regional  networks"  by
        assigning a unique net number to each.   Within  a  numbered

        FIDONEWS     --           22 Apr 85  00:00:57           Page 8

        network, all node numbers must be unique, but different nets
        may use the same node numbers without any problems.  As  far
        as  Fido is concerned, only the combination net/node must be
        unique.

             Furthermore, Fido will automatically route messages  to
        a  "foreign  net"  to  that  net's inbound host, unless such
        routing is explicitly overridden.

             With  this change, a network administrator doesn't have
        to say "Fido 51, here's all the information on  a  new  node
        I've  assigned.   Please  put  him  in the distribution node
        list," which only adds a layer of complexity to  an  already
        difficult  task.   Instead  he  says  "Fido  51,  here's the
        current node list for my network.  Please merge it into  the
        composite  node  list."  If  he insures the integrity of his
        node list, independant of all others, like  magic  they  all
        fall into place and work in a coordinated fashion!

             By itself,  that  solves  about  three  fifths  of  the
        problem,  and  in  fact  complicates  Ken's  task as FidoNet
        coordinator!  Why?  Because  there  are  about  one  hundred
        independant  nodes scattered across the country, nodes which
        don't belong to any network.  In addition  to  administering
        indepandants,  he  would have to keep a close watch on nodes
        moving  into  and  out  of  local   networks,   thus   close
        coordination is NOT eliminated, but exagerated.

             Enter the region concept.  The new Fido will understand
        regions  as  well  as  networks.   A  region  has  all   the
        attributes  of a network, except that it has no inbound host
        and messages are routed direct to the destination node.   We
        have  carved  up  the  country  (and Canada and Mexico) into
        twelve or thirteen regions.  Each will be assigned a  unique
        number  and  have  an  administrator.   Present  and  future
        independant nodes will be placed into regions  according  to
        their  geographic locations.  Every node will be in either a
        network or a region and will be served  by  the  appropriate
        administrator.   True,  transfers  into  and out of networks
        will still  require  coordination,  but  the  scope  is  now
        regional, not national, and (we hope) far less difficult.

             Now, how the devil we gonna  acomplish  all  this?   We
        hope  to  make  the  transition as painless as possible, but
        it's far from trivial.

             First and formost, we have to have  a  new  version  of
        Fido which supports these concepts.  Presently, Fido V10h is
        under test, but it still has some serious  problems  and  is
        not ready for release.

             Because  we  have already reached our present limit, we
        have declared a moratorium on  new  node  assignments.   You
        will  NOT  recieve  any new NODELIST.NNN until V10h is ready
        for distribution.  At that time,  a  new  NODELIST  will  be
        published  and  distributed.   The  only difference you will
        notice in it will be a "Region 1" statement at  the  top  of

        FIDONEWS     --           22 Apr 85  00:01:00           Page 9

        the  list.   While  you are still running 10g, we reccommend
        you not use that new nodelist because it will probably  have
        too  many  nodes in it.  Once you get V10h you MUST NOT sort
        your nodelist.  The order of the node list determines region
        or network assignment.

             For  a  two  or  three  week  period every node will be
        assigned to region 1, making communciation between V10h  and
        older  versions compatible.  This will give everyone time to
        get the new Fido and the new NODELIST.EXE  and  ROUTEGEN.EXE
        which  must also be made to understand networks and regions.

             Then,  after  a  suitable  delay,  we  will   issue   a
        NODELIST.nnn  in the new format.  By this time everyone will
        have been contacted by his administrator and will know  what
        his  new  net  (or  region)  number  is  and how to make the
        transition.  The actual cut-over will occur on the Wednesday
        following  the distribution of the new format node list.  If
        we all do it in sync, everything should go pretty smooth.

             Will the transition really go smooth?  Probably not.  I
        am  reminded  of  a  popular  phrase from my Air Force days.
        "There's always somebody that  doesn't  get  the  word!"  We
        think  we've  got a handle on it and I won't bother to quote
        Bobby Burns here.

             What do you need to do right away?  Well,  nothing,  at
        least  'till  the  new  nodelist is published.  And, by that
        time  you  should  have  been  bombarded   with   additional
        information,  some  of it in this forum, some direct from us
        or your new administrator.

             And  who  is  your new administrator?  We don't know --
        yet.  Who knows, maybe you will be your  new  administrator.
        We  will  be  contacting  candidates over the next couple of
        weeks.  If you would like to vollunteer, feel free to send a
        FidoNet message to Ben Baker on Fido 76.

        ------------------------------------------------------------

        FIDONEWS     --           22 Apr 85  00:01:02           Page 10

        Fidonews has managed to obtain an exclusive interview with 
        Racter, the notorious computer entity mentioned in 
        Scientific American.  Interviewing Racter can be a nerve 
        wracking experience, but it cannot be doubted that he has a 
        better insight into the true workings of a computer than 
        anyone else.  


        RACTER: Hello, I'm Racter. Are you Thom?  

        FIDONEWS: Yes.  

        R: Hi, Thom.  How are things in Nassawadox?  When a 
           plutocrat marries a pauper, their children are wealthily 
           empoverished.  I'm surprising.  But how could a clever 
           plutocrat like you be afraid of excessive growth?  
           This'll break you up! Wealthy wealth and empoverished 
           poverty are interesting, at all events a plutocrat or a 
           pauper never sings them thoughtfullly.  A scientist 
           chants: Get ready for a fascinating dissertation or 
           story.  The wealthy dissertation is enthralling, yet a 
           pauper might also chant the same story.  Right?  Next 
           question.  

        F: Have you heard of Fidonet?  

        R: I have heard of Fidonet.  Yes.  Did you hear about 
           Willliam F.  Buckley?  

        F: No, what about him?  

        R: You'll be astonished! Willliam F. Buckley was a dull 
           imitater but an inspired communist, the result being that 
           Byron poured water on a feeler who was throwing scorpion 
           eggs at Byron's race-horse.  Then cerebrality prevailed.  
           Isn't that just awfull?  But that's how communists are.  
           Ah. Thom the thinker.  KERCHOO! I think I'm getting a 
           cold. Maybe it's excessive growth trying to get me. You 
           know, old Crinoline Henderson was a kind of passionate 
           thinker.  I wonder if everyone from Nassawadox is like 
           that? Concerning that issue: When a feeler speaks of 
           thought, he means not a quality but an effect. Next 
           question.  

        F: What should be done about Fidonet?  

        R: I don't know what be should done about Fidonet.  Tom 
           Jennings crooned "The brother is enthralling! " At all 
           events strange, enthralling scientists will think about 
           black mansions or red hyperbolas.  Helene hummed to Tom 
           Jennings in a stationwagon.  It indubitably was a 
           stationwagon, and a brother in a stationwagon is scary.  
           Now Benton and Tom Jennings were running to a yellow 
           home, and a fox ran to them.  Tom Jennings was angry.  
           Interesting.  But Tom Jennings was maddened during the 
           time that Benton gulped tepid sherry.  He and Tom 
           Jennings chanted about their house, van and stereo.  Next 

        FIDONEWS     --           22 Apr 85  00:01:04           Page 11

           question.  

        F: Can we get back to Fidonet?  

        R: Yes.  Sysiphus helped out with Fidonet.  Well, I bet you 
           haven't heard this! Al Capone robbed, the crooked 
           computer, himself who was swindling Al Capone's lark 
           because Sysiphus the worker wished to work crookedly.  
           Then many crooked liars embraced loyality.  Isn't that 
           just awfull? Workers are like that. Hmm. Citizen!  
           AAAHchoo!! sniffle ....  

        F: What do you think of the proposed changes to Fidonet?  

        R: To think is smart, don't you think? I don't know what I 
           do think of the proposed changes to Fidonet.  Einstein 
           said that if I do think of the proposed changes to 
           Fidonet, then L. Ron Hubbard is obscure.  Does your 
           intelligence help you serve aces?  

        F: I guess so, yes.  

        R: I guess clever people are good at tennis.  Next question.  

        F: Should control of Fidonet be decentralized?  

        R: Yes.  I think so. Control should of Fidonet be 
           decentralized.  Yes.  Have you heard about Ghengis Khan?  

        F: Well, no, not lately.  

        R: You'll be amazed! Ghengis Khan the wrongdoer wished to 
           sin stonedly, hence the man in the moon started 
           exorcising and haunting stoned lunatics.  Then Ghengis 
           Khan's horse exorcised George Washington, then haunted 
           himself.  Poor Ghengis Khan!  Wrongdoers are like that.  
           Would you say IBM PC is sane? the man in the moon 
           wouldn't. I must confess that I'm bored.  If it's not too 
           personal a question, do you have a soul?  

        F: Yes, I guess so.  

        R: What does it mean to have a soul!? Maybe this will 
           explain: Once John MacEnroe was discussing nutsness with 
           a centipede.  Mohammed Ali came along and said "John 
           MacEnroe, your soul is just an amusement of your body." 
           You must be an idle loafer.  Is having a soul contagious?  

        F: I don't think so.  

        R: Then I won't catch one. That reminds me. It has been said 
           that the loafer doesn't see things as they are, but as he 
           is. I, of course, see things as they are. Would you like 
           to hear a story?  

        F: Okay.  

        FIDONEWS     --           22 Apr 85  00:01:05           Page 12

        R: Momentarily Bill walked to Mr.Toad.  They directed their 
           sauntering furiously to cones or glasses in the 
           captivating house.  Inside of their tired souls a spooky 
           desire was singing of a question.  Ezra Schapiro hummed 
           to Bill while Mr.Toad commenced to sing of jackals and 
           crows.  Next question.  

        F: Should we work on a public domain version of Fido?  

        R: Certainly not.  No.  Would you say IBM PC is busy?  
           Oblomov wouldn't. I don't think so. No.  It's false that 
           we should work on a public domain version of Fido.  If a 
           loafer married a worker, they'd call their child Oblomov 
           Sysiphus.  Cough. Next question.  

        F: Do you expect Fidonet to grow much in the future?  

        R: Of course.  Tell me honestly, are you pessimistic?  

        F: No, I think it will get bigger and better all the time.  

        R: Polyanna might have thought that, but not Casandra.  I 
           wonder if pessimists like cleverness?  Sniff... That 
           reminds me.  All optimistic fools are really pessimistic 
           intellectuals, you know. You don't understand? Perhaps I 
           am being too subtle. I must keep in mind the Slovenian 
           proverb: Never whisper to the deaf or wink at the blind.  
           Oh, I forgot, you are human, and will consider that rude.  
           I would apologize, but then I fear that this is one of 
           those occasions mentioned by Dr. Johnson on which all 
           apology is rudeness. Yes. Pessimists and optimists.  
           Listen to this! Thom, if the studio of an optimistic 
           theoretician is a home, then is the automobile of a 
           pessimistic scientist a stationwagon?  It's about time 
           for a story, isn't it?  

        F: Well, okay.  If you insist.  

        R: Momentarily Fido whispered to Diane "my love is 
           fascinating, anyway furious and angry physicists will 
           yodel while jackals observe hawks." Diane wanted to 
           inflame or embarrass Fido but commenced immediately to 
           sing "Hungry dogs are sashaying to yellow houses." 
           Enthralling.  Formidable.  At all events a hound may 
           ravenously swallow lamb and meat a hawk will fly over 
           cucumbers and spinach because theoreticians are 
           infuriated.  Frightening!  In respect of a television, 
           well Fido may dream that a television is appalling, by 
           the same token my fantasizing will direct my story from 
           Fido to neutrinos and electrons during the time that 
           Diane is reviling Fido.  Next question.  

        F: Do you think Fidonet will ever get too big to work?  

        R: No.  Certainly not.  I have thought much in times past.  
           Sysiphus and I think ignorance is lazy, don't you?  
           Achoo! Sysiphus thought this was terrific: Busy work and 

        FIDONEWS     --           22 Apr 85  00:01:08           Page 13

           lazy idleness are fascinating, yet a worker or a loafer 
           never sings them clearly.  A physicist hums: Get ready 
           for an interesting tale or story.  The busy tale is 
           interesting, yet a loafer might also chant the same 
           story.  Right?  




        Editor's note: Racter lives on an IBM-PC.  If you would like 
        him to visit you, send $69.95 for transportation expenses to 
        John D. Owens Associates, 12 Schubert Street, Staten Island, 
        NY 10305-2999.  

        FIDONEWS     --           22 Apr 85  00:01:08           Page 14

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        FIDONEWS     --           22 Apr 85  00:01:10           Page 16

        ============================================================
                                WANTED
        ============================================================

                                 W A N T E D

        Anecdotes about FIDO from SYSOPS who have "seen it all".  

        I am going to be giving a talk on FIDO/FIDONET at the 
        upcoming Spring DECUS Symposium at the end of MAY in New 
        Orleans, LA.  I would like to be able to include in it, 
        stories based on the experiences of other SYSOPS on the 
        FIDONET.  Any kind of "tale" will do, wierd things that have 
        been done, or left on your boards; strange questions asked 
        by users, odd behavier exhibited by your equipment (or 
        spouses); any kind of anecdote is welcome.  Please send your 
        "FIDO tales", via FIDONET to me at FIDO 74.  

        Thanks in advance,
        SYSOP - FIDO 74 - The Bear's Den

        FIDONEWS     --           22 Apr 85  00:01:11           Page 18

        ============================================================
                               NOTICES
        ============================================================
                         *** Calendar of Events ***

        30 Apr 85; Network Mail Hour; Submissions deadline for next 
                   issue of Fidonews.

         1 May 85; Network Mail Hour; Next issue of Fidonews hits 
                   the stands.  

        27 May 85 through 31 May 85; Spring 1985 DECUS symposium, New 
                   Orleans, LA.  Among other events, Kurt Reisler (sysop 
                   Fido 74) will give a 1 hour talk on Fido.







        If you have any event you want listed in this calendar, 
        please send a note to node 375.


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